Somehow or rather, i got to find a way back to my normal self.

Firstly, sorry for not updating my blog for so long. Having the urge to blog since last week yet i cant cause i simply don't have the time to do so. Understanding test, school, meet up with friends/clique/classmates, watching euro is the reason why. I barely had enough time to sleep 8hours a day & worst part is i have to wake up at 6.15am every morning in zombie mode to prepare for school. Sigh, i cant really recalled when was the last time i blogged but well, i'm so gonna blog tonight and talk my hearts out. 


This is already the second week of school since the holiday ended, i totally don't have motivation to study for my understanding test. Can you imagine if you are having an examination tomorrow, you are not studying for it yet blogging like what i'm exactly doing now? #nomotivation #lazy #heckcareattitude #sleepy. All this reasons pretty sums up why. Screwed my GPA, i just hope that i don't have to retake any of my modules. Anyway, somehow i'm still quite confident that i will passed tomorrow understanding test even thought i'm lazy to study for it. Talking about studies, i really wonder if studies is the only way for a bright future. Is there like route B or something? Or route C where you strike toto, 4D or buy Singapore to win the next world cup? Anyway does bright future means making lots of money and being rich? Oh well, different people have different thinking and point of views, there is no right or wrong to this type of question. I have learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. 


Life to me is pretty fuck up, seems easy but actually hard to live. Sometimes people come into my life and i know they are the one that either make a huge impact of my life or make a mess out of it. Somehow most people you meet will affect your life in some profound ways. The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned form. In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones. After the blogged that you posted on 23june, i'm determine to get over it as soon as possible. Enough is enough, this will be the last time i will cry for you. Thinking about it, was it worth it?


You hurt me, breaks my heart but i'm not gonna hate you. Because you are the one who helped me learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom i open my heart. I will still love you, no doubt because that feeling will never go away. Impossible to forget nor delete away from my mind. Hope in time when i found the right girl that open my heart again, will be the day that our memories turns beautiful instead of the sorrow ones that i'm feeling now. This is sheer stupidity but now that we are strangers, fate shall decide whether we will start to know each other as a friend over again in the future. You are creating your own path of life and i hope you can live it with absolutely no regrets. Studies is very important to you, but do appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. 


Recently i found out that i'm actually a person that people like to take advantage of. I know i'm easy to bully, i know i'm stupid because no matter how bad you are to me nor say me, i will tolerant everything and not do anything about it. You don't have to win every arguments, agree to disagreement is what i always do. However i still have my limits, please be more considerate and don't use my kindness as a form of way to take advantage of it. What goes around, comes around. Bare that in your mind. Do good deeds & good things will come back to you. Do bad things and i'm sure karma will strike you. Here is a story that i read in the morning while on my way to school and i strongly believe this phase "what goes around, comes around."

One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn’t look safe; he looked poor and hungry. He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was those chills which only fear can put in you. He said, “I’m here to help you, ma’am. Why don’t you wait in the car where it’s warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.”

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.
As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn’t thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.
He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, “And think of me.”
He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn’t erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan.

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin.

There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: “You don’t owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I’m helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.”
Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard….
She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, “Everything’s going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.”

There is an old saying “What goes around comes around.”

Anyway, i gonna sleep now. I got to find a way back to my old self. Nights readers. (: