Long time since i blog.

well i came back to blog because i wanna rant. okay, that's not the reason because i feel bad about a certain thing and i could share it with no one. burden me is indeed burden. As much as i wanted to help or joke about a certain stuff, it always ended up as a wrong move. Making me feel guilty about it. Is it just me? maybe i should not talk so much next time. sigh.

somethings must be left unsaid

No explanation needed please. please. i dont wanna see wad you say, just leave me alone will do. I will be perfectly fine if you leave me alone.

seriously?

Seriously, i will be freaking glad if my heart could give me a break too. I WISH I COULD. If this page that you are viewing now hurts, make you upset, unhappy or wadever shit you are feeling, then don't visit this place anymore. i mean it. I blog to make me feel better & u are no longer responsible for my feelings now. How i feel now is none of your business. I could have save a heartbreak meant for two if i have make the correct decision 3 years ago. Enjoy your long awaited holiday. 

Tired

为什么我那时候要那么拼命的去关心，爱护和等待着你呢？无论什么事发生，我记得
为了你，不管我受了多少苦，受了多少委屈，我都可以忍。但是我这么做，只是让
我觉得很笨。你不但放弃了这一段爱情，你还狠狠的把我的心给丢进了大海。我真
的很想知道为什么你要这么做。你根本没有给“ 我们”一个机会。是我太天真吗？
是因为我配不上你吗？我愿意等，为什么你却不可以让我有这个机会呢？你知道我
现在有多想你吗？。。。 我真的很累了.

Direct arrows?

im hitting the replay button that have no more meaning to it. Dinosaur is extinct, yet I'm seeing them in my mind.

Full of doubts.

Best buddy i have. 

Sup readers, I know i "MIA" for a long time. Gonna be a long post today. My thought, feeling and wadever shit that i feel like saying it out here.

School started, holiday ended. & its the start of another 15 weeks of "RJ,PDT,WS,PRESENTATION" life. Its already year 2 sem 2 . time flies. I swear i hate RJ policy of changing class every single sem. Although i get to know ton lots of new friends, i have to change class every 15 week. Its like we have just started to really get along and bond well with each other & we have to change our class already. Shitty arrangement.
Anyway, first week of school is not that bad after all. (At least all the new friends that i have make in my team is very friendly and helpful). All of us have this motto in RP that i always agree on too (sharing is caring)

BOOO, shall not talk so much about school staff.  Kind of boring yeah?
lets talk about friends and the people i have seen recently. I have lots of stuff to rant regarding some ill mannered retards living in this planet wasting our god damn precious oxygen. So can anyone tell me what is the purpose of playing sports? To keep ourselves healthy & most importantly to enjoy right? But some people just wanna fight/find problems no matter where they go. I just don't get it. As much as i wanna ignored it, this kid have to ram the ball at the innocent dustbin and topple it before he march off with his retard face screaming and cursing @*!#&$(@#! at his opponent. Sore loser, ill manner kid. Making the place dirty by his actions. Sigh. More and more kids nowadays are rude, arrogant and inconsiderate. Nowadays, people just don't have any respect for anyone, and what's worse - they just DON'T CARE! Unfortunately, rudeness and inconsideracy have become the norm, and others have become so complacent, they just "accept it" or have become more "tolerant" of it. Sigh x10. Do you feel angry at the irresponsibility of people around you? Have you ever asked yourself , what makes people so inconsiderate? What makes them care so little? You guys can reflect about that yourself.
Friends. i seriously hate to start this topic. But i always have problem with issue regarding it. Used to have this close clique of friends, but due to my selfishness, things changes. We are not as close as those times anymore. Am i right by choosing to avoid them at that time? Am i a downright lousy friend? i choose to leave because i really cant take it anymore. My mind cant take it anymore, i need a break from all this shit. Already facing so many difficulties in life, & with my 'not yet recover setback that happened a year or two years ago' I just felt that my decision to leave is a rather controversial one. But even so, i felt so guilty. Perhaps i'm not a good friend after all. uncertainty within me can lead to wrong impulsive decision.

Still on the topic on friends, What would you guys do if one of your friends did something wrong.? would you keep quiet about it? Or tell your friend about it? (do think that by doing so, it will include the risk of quarrelling). How now brown cow? If your friend is some sort of ill-manner and is obviously in the wrong yet his/her stubbornness of thinking that he/she is right all the time is making her so unreasonable. Will you pretend nothing happen and avoid trouble? Agrh. So many things on my mind. Sacrifices make to your own benefits, yet hurt the other party in the process, is this consider as an selfish act? Used to think that the answer is a direct yes. but.. i'm not too sure about that now. I do regret the decision now, we could have been good friends still. Not like now where you have to specifically delayed the reply because you have to be careful with every word used as you typed the message. It's like sigh... I choose to give on that day, trying my very best forgo everything. I thought i did it, only till yesterday i realized that it is a false alarm. There is this girl, somehow or rather remind me of you when i'm playing soccer. I hurt my knee and i seat at the side watching the others play. She came to me and ask if i'm alright, immediately you appeared in my mind. I miss the times when you still bother to care so much about me. Yeah, we needed MORE time to adapt to a new life even after close to a year plus. Just how long more? i'm not too sure about that. One things for sure, i'm afraid to trust love again.

Dance and dinner on next monday. Still thinking of what to wear for the upcoming event. Juggling with studies & work at the same time now, hopefully i can manage both of it. Basic theory test on 22nov, hopefully i can ease that one easily too. Alright, have to eat my tauhuey and head to bed, cant write any longer. Cant denied the fact that sleep is so important to me right now. Nights everyone.

Empty

wanted to do a long post. but oh well, sleeping is damn important for me now. shall write next time. very soon i hope.